Trouble

Again, bring in the dark clouds because this girl is still caught in gloomyville. Today has been the second day of this feeling of gloomy, and I have the answer as to why I feel this way. I miss my group...you see many people find the activities that they are apart of and they be in that group of people that share that with them, for me it was always choir. I high school I was part of the top Jazz choir and along with a show choir. Now although that was three almost four years ago from ever being in that group of choir kids, I am still missing it. Today is the big day of the play production of the college, and pretty much all my friends are in the show, and they are all in that group getting ready for it. I am so sad because I miss that emptiness that I have, I really miss choir and the act of singing with people and making harmonies and singing in competition. I miss having that group of kids that had the same passion as I do..I just really miss it so very much...big part of my life and it fills my soul with nothing but happiness.

Today has been a hard day for many reasons, I think I am just burned out right now, I need a change, I need a break. It scares me to think that I ususally become sad when I am stuck in the same place for a long time, I got antsy in high school because I wanted to leave the friends that I had then, and now I am antsy in college and I want to get away from it all. But I know that next year is my big last year, and it makes me so scared and excited. I pray that the Lord will really help me to just be that person that he wants me to be. And also that I will just make a difference for him, not matter where it is he takes me down on this path of life. I just hope that I will be happy and that I will learn to be content where I am and that I will always keep my focus above on the stuff that really matters, God.


Some other things that I was thinking about today:
1) Lord, I do not know why I feel this way about this person, but please whatever your will..please let it be. I just want to be so much part of their life.
2) I am kind of scared, I need to ask for two and a half weeks off for school
3) There is nothing like listening to acoustic music.
4) I love to light candles now.
5) Work, work, work, work...oh yeah WORK
6) For some reason I have not been hanging out with my friend who is visiting, I really do nto know why I am so distant with him right now.
7) I really do not get how I act sometimes.
8) I am in the mood to watch Moulin Rouge.
9) Am I going to be trampled down by wanting to live in a big city?
10) Very, very guilty pleasure= Vampire Diaries.

Peace and love

Sarah